My life is surrounded by music, and I recognize that I’m lucky.
But even with that abundance, it’s easy to get stuck in the familiar—the songs my family and I love, the ones I regularly perform, or my go-to running tracks (hi, Dua Lipa!). Breaking out of that loop can be surprisingly hard.
Yesterday, I had the privilege of working with over 250 middle schoolers alongside an incredible team of musicians. Curating these kinds of programs is one of my favorite parts of what I do—but even then, stepping outside my musical comfort zone takes effort. Middle school musical taste is its own universe, even different from what my elementary-age kids gravitate toward.
And this is where the growth happens.
We have a powerful opportunity as adults—not just to play the music we want for our children, but to listen to what their musical choices are telling us. It’s not just about what we share with them. It’s about what we can learn from them, if we’re willing to meet them where they are.
That’s how we break out of the feedback loop of the familiar. Because while my go-to songs are comforting, they’re not everyone’s soundtrack.
So how do we expand our playlists in meaningful ways?
Alexa, Spotify, Apple Music—they can help, but only to a point. Eventually, those platforms tend to serve us more of the same. The “you might also like…” algorithm still draws from what we already know.
Not everyone has the chance to sit with 250 middle schoolers and ask what they’re listening to. But yesterday, I did—and their answers were a mix of the obvious and the wonderfully unexpected. One 14-year-old picked Party in the USA (which, let’s be honest, is on my go-to playlist too). Another chose Clair de Lune (a piece I love and know well). Then came Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez—a dreamy, retro-sounding love song I hadn’t heard before, but now can’t stop humming. Someone else suggested Sunroof by Nicky Youre—pure sunshine in a track.
As the students began to get tired after a long morning together—no session is perfect, and part of the work is learning to embrace that and adapt—we ended on an unexpected high note: a spontaneous dance break. Without planning it, students and teachers alike were up on their feet, moving together to the Cha Cha Slide. A shared moment of joy. No instructions needed—just music, movement, and connection. Proving that, sometimes, the most memorable learning moments aren’t in the lesson plan—they’re in the music.
By the end of our time together, I had a mental list of songs I’d never heard before—and wish I’d written down. But my favorite part wasn’t just discovering new music. It was asking the students one simple question after they named a song: “Why this one? How does it make you feel?”
That kind of curiosity is something we can all practice. You don’t need a room full of teenagers to do it. You can start by asking your own kids what they’re listening to—or even tell Alexa to play a song it’s never played for you before (yes, that’s a thing!). It’s a small, simple act—but it opens more than your ears. It opens your heart too.
Here’s a Place to Start
This morning, I was working on a new playlist for a partner who wanted something to help reset the mood. I usually default to classical music—but this time, I challenged myself. I created a playlist without any classical music, intentionally choosing tracks that would help me learn and grow as I curated.
The result? A playlist designed to lower blood pressure, reduce cortisol levels, and soothe the nervous system. Studies show that slow-tempo, low-frequency music can reduce cortisol (our stress hormone), lower heart rate, and activate the parasympathetic nervous system—the part of the body that helps us rest, digest, and regulate emotions. It’s not magic—it’s music meeting science.
And it’s not just for you—it’s meant to be shared with your child. Try it during a meal, at homework time, while building Legos, or just when everyone needs to come down a notch. The slower rhythms and steady tempo affect the body in subtle but powerful ways. They help us find… flow.
And that, I’m learning, is where the magic begins.
Mini How-To: Curate a Playlist That Works
You don’t need to be a DJ or music teacher to build a meaningful playlist. You just need intention and curiosity. Here’s a quick guide:
- Choose your moment.
Is this for winding down? Getting energized? Focusing? Start with a purpose and the feeling you want to create. - Set the mood with the first track.
Pick a song that gently invites the listener into that mood. Don’t start too strong—ease them in. - Aim for a consistent tempo or energy level.
Especially for kids, abrupt changes in style or speed can be jarring. Keep transitions smooth. - Mix the familiar with the new.
Too much new music at once can overwhelm any listener; too much familiarity can disengage. A balance of both keeps ears and minds open. - Keep it short and intentional.
5–10 songs is plenty. This isn’t about background noise—it’s about guiding the moment. - Test it with your people.
Try it out during dinner, cleanup, reading, or transitions. See how it lands. Tweak it. Let it evolve.
Bonus: Ask your child to contribute one or two songs. It gives them ownership—and you might discover a new favorite together.
